Dysphoria
by Supernatural Crossover Girl
Summary: Reincarnation isn't always like it is in the fanfictions. Sometimes, you end up in a body you would never expect to have ended up in. Sometimes, you end up in a body, that is completely wrong. SI OC
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Dysphoria

**Summery: **Reincarnation isn't always like it is in the fanfictions. Sometimes, you end up in a body you would never expect to have ended up in. Sometimes, you end up in a body, that is completely wrong. SI OC

**Beta: SirKnight**

**Notes: **This story contains possible triggers, themes that may make you uncomfortable and rather erratic thought processes. **IF YOU DISLIKE THIS STORY, DO NOT READ.**

* * *

I was twenty-three when it happened. I had been walking home, my car was broken down yet again, when I was right through the head. I felt it in the first second, felt the impact penetrating? my skull... and then nothing. I floated for a long time, not moving an inch.

As alone as I was, I mostly thought about my life, and why I had deserved the ending I got. I was a University student, working in a bookstore part-time so that I could afford groceries, luckily my schooling was being paid for by a scholarship and my well-off parents. I had been dating a nice guy, though he reminded me too much of my dad for me to really contemplate actually staying with him for more than a few years. I was a good person, excluding my high school years where I had bullied a few people. But that was high school, so I highly doubted that those few years had any real weight in the large scope of things I hadn't said a nasty thing to anyone since I graduated... well, maybe a few things, but honestly I had thought that the things I said weren't that bad.

After thinking about all of that, I became furious at my treatment. I tried to thrash, tried to scream, but I couldn't. I couldn't move, nor could I even breathe, but since I was dead I don't think it really mattered. I was angry. '_How dare they treat me like this, I haven't done anything wrong!' _was the main thought that sped through my mind. I wanted to go to heaven, I wanted to see God.

After a long time, stewing in anger and self-pity, I felt something. It was if I was being squeezed, yanked out of the void I had been trapped in. There was a sudden rush of warmth, followed by cold. I couldn't see, because it was so blurry, as I was rushed around unwillingly. I heard screaming, as something was wrapped around me, something nice and fluffy. The cries continued as I was suddenly pressed into arms, I could feel that they were arms, arms that held me awkwardly, slowly rocking me back and forth. I still heard the screaming, as a voice called nonsense over it, and it was only then, that I realized it was coming from me.

The only thing in my head as I began to force myself to calm down was:_ What the hell is going on?_

-0-

It took me awhile to actually realize what was going on, which I blame on the fact I still couldn't focus, and also the fact that I only ever heard nonsense. However, when I realized that I was a freaking baby, yeah then everything made sense. It took me, I think about... a month or two to accept it. The passage of time wasn't eventful as a baby, and I still couldn't see very well. It actually was my baby brain kicking in that made me accept it. A baby can start to see faces around three months, and that was when I saw my new father for the first time.

Accepting the fact that I was a baby was much easier than accepting the fact I had been reborn as the daughter of Hatake Sakumo. I had been a fan of the manga as a teen, and it carried over into my university years. I knew who he was, more or less. But this...

It took me a long time to accept it. Long enough that I had already learned to translate the basic information I heard from my surroundings. Learning the language was quicker than how long it normally would have taken me, due to my body's baby brain that housed my adult mind. I learned the language faster than a normal adult, but I could sort through the information and organize it like an adult. I think I was... five months, give or take a couple weeks, when I accepted it. I actually began to feel excited. I was Kakashi's sister, who wouldn't be excited? He was one of the most badass characters in the Naruto manga, and I was going to be raised with him.

I never saw him, so I always figured he must have been on a mission. I had never seen my new mother either, not once. I figured out, after seeing Sakumo pray at a table with a picture of a pretty woman on it, that she must have died in childbirth. A sad thought, but I had never met her, so I didn't really feel anything other than a twinge of regret. I did wonder though, how she had died in canon if she hadn't died during the birth of her second child.

I awaited Kakashi eagerly, as Sakumo took care of me. He saw to all my needs, even the more embarrassing ones. I never once watched when he washed or changed me, due to the awkwardness of the entire thing. Sakumo may have been my new father, but honestly I didn't know him, and a few months are not enough time to trust someone as much as is needed to let them wash you, or change you. It was way too weird.

What was even more weird though, as I got more and more familiar with my new body, was that there felt like there was something down there. Something that really wasn't right, but I figured it was probably just the awkwardness of my diaper, but the feeling never really went away. It stayed with me even (in the during bath time.

There were a lot of weird things around me. My room had ninja toys and stuff in it, no surprise there, but it didn't have any girly things. No pretty dresses, no dolls, the only stuffed animals I had were all masculine ones. Something that confused me to no end, but, perhaps Sakumo was already being shunned for his actions that had, supposedly, started a war. Perhaps I got all of Kakashi's old toys, because Sakumo couldn't buy new ones.

Sakumo also only ever used the name Kakashi around me. This was something that should have sent up warning signs, but honestly I just thought that I kept missing my name. I had picked up Japanese almost perfectly, but I was unable to understand Sakumo when he started rambling, because he talked faster than I could follow at the time.

It was my first birthday when I figured it out. I had begun tentatively talking a month before, Japanese was a hard language to grasp after all, but I was getting better at it. Sakumo had come in, and smiled at me. He scooped me up and spun me around, before he carried me to the bathroom, stopping so that I could face the mirror.

"Look Kakashi. Already a year old, you're getting to be a big boy!" I froze, and stared at the mirror. Everything clicked then.

The toys, the name, and the _feeling _of something down there.

I wasn't Kakashi's sister. I wasn't even a freaking girl.

I was Kakashi himself.

* * *

I shouldn't be taking on a new project, but this just... it was an evil plot bunny that jumped me, alright? It's also a way for me to expand my writing ability.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed the first chapter! I deleted the old version of this story last night because I realized right after that it was crap. I'm still not happy with this chapter, but it is much better then my first attempt.

Next chapter will be slow coming, I want to flesh it out as much as possible.

Now, the word dysphoria: it's a feeling of emotional and mental discomfort as a symptom of discontentment, restlessness, dissatisfaction, malaise, depression, anxiety or indifference. (Wikipedia) I'm using the word as my title because gender dysphoria is what Kakashi is feeling. She is trapped inside a male body, and is unable to actually do jack about it. She's stuck, and will remain so. It is actually one of the main plot points of my story, so no. I will not have her find a way to become a girl. Henge is as far as she'll be able to go.

Review please!


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **Dysphoria

**Summery: **Reincarnation isn't always like it is in the fanfictions. Sometimes, you end up in a body you would never expect to have ended up in. Sometimes, you end up in a body, that is completely wrong. SI OC

**Notes: **This story contains possible triggers, themes that may make you uncomfortable and rather erratic thought processes. **IF YOU DISLIKE THIS STORY, DO NOT READ.**

* * *

It took me a long time to calm down enough not to freak whenever I even got a glimpse of my penis. I struggled to go back to how I had been before the reveal, completely unaware of what I now had, and what was missing. However, now that I knew, I realized that I had always been aware of what was going on down there. I just had been existing in a state of denial, not wanting to believe the truth, but when face with it, I had to fully accept it. I was now biologically a boy, even though mentally I was a girl.

I couldn't go back to being in denial like I had been, so I turned to other ways of making myself forget. Kakashi's brain... my new brain, was a work of art. It worked twice as fact as my old one. The Kakashi from my memories was called a prodigy, with good reason. His brain was incredible, I learned faster then the average child, helped along the way by my mind as well. I had actually been extremely smart in my first life, though it was because I had a deep love of learning, rather then any real natural talent. I was in love with learning, and it showed as I grew up in my first life.

Books had been devoured by me as a child, and educational programs had been my favorite shows. My brain smarts had come with me, and combined with the fact I now had a new brain, that worked much better then my old one, and the fact I was an adult in mind, I was picking up things much faster then the average child. Learning was a way to forget everything that had happened to me, so I threw myself into it. I learned to talk fully much faster then any other child I had met, and crawling was easier for me then any other child. Walking took a few tries, but I had forced my body to obey me. I knew what I had to do, my body just hadn't trained to do it, only my brain had.

Sakumo was so proud of me, whenever I did something advanced. He would grin, and scoop me up, throwing me into the air, crying out that his son was the smartest baby in the world. He didn't seemed shocked by my progress, just accepted it, and bragged about it to the other parents he met.

"Kakashi-chan is a genius." he would always say, whenever someone commented on it.

It was irrational, and childish, but after I had learned that I was in a male body, I had started to hate Sakumo. In a way, I blamed him for my new body. A woman donates a X chromosome and a man donates either a Y or an X, so in my head, it was Sakumo's fault that my new body was male. Instead of giving me an X chromosome, he had given me a Y chromosome. It was because of him that I had to deal with... everything. It was his fault in my mind.

I began to make trouble for him as soon as I could. I was stubborn, contradictory, and when I woke up, screaming because my mouth felt like someone had shoved a razor blade through my gums, I used the fact I was teething to bite Sakumo. I fully blame the fact I was a child at the time as the reason I had been so stupid with it, but biting Sakumo just made me feel so much better, so I did it. However, he never reacted in anger to me biting him.

He would simply laugh it off, and ruffle my hair, calling me his big boy. I really hated him at those moments, whenever he brought up my sex. I was not a boy, I was not a freaking boy!

I hated Sakumo so much, that when I remembered he was going to end up hated by the entire village, I felt a rush of perverted, vindictive pleasure. I felt bad about it later, Sakumo did love me, no matter what I did to him, but at the time, I really hated him. I could handle the reincarnation, truthfully, I hadn't had that great of a life before, my parents weren't really parents, and I had never really felt like I could be myself, but being in the wrong body, being unable to look at myself in the mirror, being unable to use the damn toilet because whenever I tried I freaked out.

The first time I had used the child's toilet Sakumo bought me, I vomited, because I had to consciously use it, I had to make me brain know that I wasn't sitting and just letting it out right away. I was doing it in a much different manner. Sakumo had been frightened that I had just puked right then, and he had rushed me to the hospital, where all the doctors said that I wasn't sick.

They said there was 'nothing' wrong. That there was 'nothing' to worry about.

I started hating hospitals after that. I just hated them, more then I hated Sakumo. They couldn't see what I was inside. They couldn't see what was wrong with me.

I eventually learned to block out the feelings, but I never stood to go to the bathroom. I just... I just couldn't do it. After the first time I tried to use the toilet, I was twice as much of a brat to Sakumo, throwing things, biting him harder, and the few friends he had were the victim of bites, as well as me dumping food on them. I even ripped apart a book one of them had, grinning the entire time. This was after she called me a 'handsome little boy, so much like his father' so I went a little nuts after hearing that, having already been in a bad mood because I had just had a bath, which my least favorite time of the day. Baths forced me to look at myself to make sure I was clean, and I much preferred having clothes on rather then off.

First time I was spanked, but the woman was a huge cow anyway. She flirted with Sakumo, despite being married, and treated almost everyone like crap. She also looked at me like I was a bug, so it felt really good getting back at her like I had, even though I was punished.

I was a piece of work with how nasty I was, but everyone put up with it. I was a prodigy, and everyone seemed to just love that the White Fang's _son_ was a damn genius, that they said that they could forgive everything else.

I made sure to bite the people who said that the hardest.

When I turned two, I was introduced to chakra exercises. Very simple ones, designed for a baby. I was to recognize chakra colors tones and feeling, an odd concept, but I found it similar to putting shapes into holes, like most babies did. It was actually interesting, mostly because it was something new to learn, rather then walking, and crawling. Talking, after I had picked up Japanese, hadn't taken long. Learning to tell the difference between chakra took a longer time to fully learn.

Chakra was an interesting thing, just it's very nature could excite the most experienced of biologists. Chakra was a mix of both mind and body, turned into a force that could wipe out a city if you had enough of it. It was constantly changing, and growing in someones body as they aged, worked out and learned. It was never the same for two people, like a fingerprint. And, they way it was for men and women was fascinating There had been a theory in the Naruto fandom I remembered, that women had less chakra then men. It turned out to be wrong, but at the same time true. Women had the same amount of chakra as any man who worked as hard as they did with their reserves and control, but they could only use some of it. A woman's body was designed for childbirth, and as such, part of their chakra went to protecting their wombs. As such, female ninja were fertile, even if they were stabbed over and over down there. Yes, they could loose their fertility, but it actually was harder to do so in this world, then it was in my old world.

I had always felt my chakra, but I had learned to ignore it from a young age. It didn't hurt, nor was it uncomfortable. It was just a buzz, crinkling like electricity, not surprising since the Kakashi from my memories was lightning natured. I hadn't realized what it was at the time, but once I learned that it was chakra, I began to experiment. I would try to force it to my hands, or to my feet, trying to figure out how to control it, even though it felt like a daunting task. My spirit was old, and as such, my spiritual chakra made my reserves large for a babies, even though my physical chakra was very small. It was going along faster then it should have, but I figured it was due to my new brain mixed with my mind that enabled me to learn it faster.

Sakumo was forced to take missions again a while after my second birthday, which had been a very private affair. I was often watched by groups of genin, all of them were idiots around me. Most of the girls squealed, while the guys all talked about how 'badass' I was going to be later on. They all used baby talk when they talked to me, despite the fact I could talk quite normally. I didn't use large words, but I could talk like a six or seven year old, so the idea that I needed to be talked to like that was laughable.

I actually looked forward to when Sakumo came back. I may have hated him, but at least he was smart. He also helped me with my chakra exercises, once he figured out what I was doing, which took him about four months. He seemed to be so happy that I was moving fast through the entire thing, though sometimes he got this look in his eyes, one of sadness, and regret. It was the look of a prodigy, raising another prodigy, one that said that they knew how the world would treat you, how you would be studied by all.

It soon became the look he always held in his eyes, when he looked at me.

-0-

I was three, when I woke up from a nap I had collapsed into after I'd trained with chakra for a few hours to find Sakumo eagerly waiting for me. He had a sheet of paper with him, along with ink brushes.

"I'm going to teach you how to write today Kakashi-chan!" I actually felt excited I was still unable to read of write, something that was odd for a prodigy, but I refused to be read to, not out of hate, but out of not wanting to read the stupid books that were made for children. Even the ones made for the ninja children sounded like an idiot wrote it. "Come over here and sit down." I sat down next to him, watching as Sakumo began the lesson. I was awestruck by how graceful he was. Ink brushes weren't used that often, but Sakumo preferred to use them whenever he could, rather then a pen or pencil like many of the other ninja. He found it relaxing, using a brush.

I watched, as he dipped the brush into the pot, bringing out before it could become saturated, and with an air of experience, he laid the tip on the paper, and pulled it through the movement. A down stroke, a stroke to the side, another and another... It was mesmerizing to watch, how he created the words on paper. It looked like his hand was dancing a complex ballet, as he created a kanji on the paper. I'm pretty sure my mouth was wide enough to fit a fist into, as I watched. I had no idea that writing could be so... graceful.

"Here's your name Kakashi." was the exclamation when he was done. I took the paper from his hand, and studied it. It was a work of art, beauty right there on paper. I put it to the side, and gripped the brush he had set down, Sakumo stopping me to carefully adjust my hand, which had been gripping the brush weird, as I still had to work on my fine motor control.

I put the brush on new paper, trying to do what I had seen Sakumo do, but it was much harder then I had thought. The brush was not easy to use, as if you pressed to hard your ruined the paper, but to soft and the mark would be much to light. I got frustrated fast, trying to do it.

"Calm down Kakashi-chan, let me help." Sakumo said, reaching out to grab my hand, to help me put the correct pressure on the brush.

"I can do it." I snapped, yanking my hand away from Sakumo, who just sighed. He was far to use to me being a brat around him. I continued to try, over and over again, but I just couldn't do it. Sakumo actually began to grin a bit, seeing my frustration, which got a nasty glare, but he wouldn't let up.

I snapped after the tenth time I tried, when Sakumo actually snickered at me. I took the brush, and turned right towards Sakumo. I then did something completely and utterly childish.

I used the brush to paint a line of ink right across his face, over his nose. He stared at me in shock, as I just grinned.

He moved to fast for me to see, and right over my mouth went his line. I stared at him in shock, as he just smirked. Right then, the war was on. Sakumo was a ninja, so he was faster, but I still got him good a few times, both of us laughing like lunatics as we threw ink at one another.

I splattered his legs, as he painted my face. We ducked, and rolled around the living room, Sakumo jumping over the couch to get away from me as I chased him with a brush, but I climbed right over to get at him, jumping on his back, and getting the brush right in his hair. He grabbed the ink bottle, and dumped it on my head, before he tickled me, hard. I don't remember a time I'd laughed so hard, and for so long. I got back at him, though I was sure he had let me. I tickled him, getting under his arms, and his sides, smiling the entire time, as we rolled around in the mess of ink we had made.

Eventually, we started to calm down, but by that time, the living room was a complete mess, and we were both covered in ink, me more so then Sakumo. I was exhausted, and flopped onto my stomach, right on top of one of my messed up tries at writing the kanji for my name.

"Well, looks like I'm paying a D-Rank tomorrow. I am not cleaning this up." said Sakumo with chuckle, as he surveyed the damage. He left the room, muttering about starting a bath for me, as I forced myself up, looking around. Ink covered almost all of the surfaces in the room. The only thing that had remaned mostly unscathed was the piece of paper Sakumo had written my name on. I picked it up, looking at the strokes, the elegant lines on the paper.

My fingers were covered in ink, so it was no hardship to scrawl, with my fingers, another kanji, right next to the first one. I simply copied it, doing the exact same thing as Sakumo did.

On one side of the paper, there was the elegant lines of Sakumo's kanji, flowing on the page. One the other, my stumpy fingers had created a kanji that was jagged, and shaky, the moves of a child finger painting.

It was the first time I had felt something then hate towards Sakumo, after the real nature of my situation had been revealed. I didn't feel love, there were to many negative emotions there still, but I felt fondness. Sakumo was a good father, and I was lucky to have him as my second father.

I put the paper in my room, before I went to brave the idea of a bath. It was a reminder, of an day of learning, and fun. It was one of the few things I owned that I liked. Sakumo got it framed, and it went right on my wall.

It was nice to look at, when I got really down about my body. That one afternoon of pure fun. Where nothing mattered, but trying to splatter each other with ink.

A reminder of the first time I actually felt like Sakumo was my father.

-0-

When I turned four, Sakumo told me that I would be going to the academy.

"I thought you had to be six." I remarked, being stubborn because I could. Sakumo sighed, and shook his head, his eyes holding the same sadness they always did.

"I can't teach you anymore Kakashi-chan. You need to learn things you can handle." As ninja's grow, they forget things that they had learned in the academy. Sakumo remembered chakra exercises, which I did everyday, but he only knew super advanced taijutsu, and ninjutsu. He promised to teach me how to use a tanto, which I actually was excited for, but I had to learn the basics first, which he had forgotten.

"Fine." I said, before I started to think. I had always been aware of where I was, but honestly, I had never given it much thought. To focused on myself to realize what the rest of the world was.

I started to think about the future, about what I knew. I knew that Kakashi had graduated in a year, so there was some guideline to the time I would spend stuck in school. I knew his sensei would later become the Fourth Hokage. Kakashi would become one of the best ninja in the village, able to go toe to toe with a sannin.

I also knew that Kakashi's teammate, Uchiha Obito, would become a monster. He would crack and nearly destroy Konoha, he would nearly burn it to the ground. I knew it was coming, I knew that I could change the future.

_ But... do I really want to?_ I asked myself. Did I want to change the future? Did I really? I was so angry at everything, that I honestly had to say that I was conflicted about it. Some things I couldn't change, such as Sakumo's mission. I was a freaking kid, I couldn't change that. So, the Third War would start, and I was unable to do anything about it. And everything else...

What could I do to stop it? No one would believe me about Orchimaru, I had never met him. I couldn't warn them about Danzo, I couldn't contact the Ame Trio, I couldn't do anything.

I could save Obito though, or kill him myself. But, it was possible that Madara would find a way around that, find some other pawn to use. I would be blind then, unable to do anything. And, really, I didn't want to be the one to save the world. It was bad enough I was Hatake Kakashi, and I actually had to follow a guideline, until the first possible time to ditch it. I didn't want to take the responsibility of saving the world on my shoulders. I didn't.

The only reason I was following the steps I remembered from the manga was because it was just easier for me. It would be simpler to follow a basic guideline, then to make it up as I went along. I was smart, but I really didn't want to know what I could screw up beyond repair if I didn't keep to the path. However, I could deviate once I was completely sure that there would be no consequences to it.

It was the most important question I faced in my second life. it rang in my head, over and over, as I sat in my room, staring at my wall.

_Should I change the future?_

* * *

Hope you enjoyed it! It was interesting, writing a lot of this, as I am not transgender myself, and it's difficult to put myself into Kakashi's shoes, and think on why she would feel certain ways.

Here are a few answers to questions I bet I will be getting:

1) Her hate of Sakumo will pass, it's just misplaced aggression at being reincarnated into a male body. Really, she should be hating whatever higher power *coughMEcough* that put her into that situation. However, she instead lashes out at Sakumo, who's an innocent.

2) Her being smart before came as a way for me to make her as smart as Canon!Kakashi, because that man is a genius. So, I gave her a larger, and more developed mind then most have, driven by a thirst for learning. And, as she does have his brain now, she will just keep getting smarter. SO, yes, she was a genius in her first life, just not as smart as canon!Kakashi.

3) I am running on a theory for chakra I made up. I'm not sure if anyone else had the same idea or not, so I am not claiming it to be original. So, yes. This is why women seem to have less chakra then men. It protects their abdomens.

4) Yes, this Kakashi is a transgender woman. As such, she will be dealing with confusion, as well as a lot of hate from people, after they learn she is transgender. I also will have couples in this story, later on, that will be both homosexual and heterosexual. IF YOU HAVE AN ISSUE, STOP READING!

Review please!


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: **Dysphoria

**Summery: **Reincarnation isn't always like it is in the fanfictions. Sometimes, you end up in a body you would never expect to have ended up in. Sometimes, you end up in a body, that is completely wrong. SI OC

**Notes: **This story contains possible triggers, themes that may make you uncomfortable and rather erratic thought processes. **IF YOU DISLIKE THIS STORY, DO NOT READ.**

* * *

I was the youngest kid in the class, and everyone else seemed confused whether to lord my age over me, or to be insulted a four year old was taking the same classes as them. I was rather excited to be going to school,as I had always been a huge fan of school. However, as soon as I entered the class room, it all went to hell.

I went through the most boring classes, history the only interesting thing, but even then I learned it much to fast to bother caring about paying attention. I sat through maths, feeling like pulling my hair out. _Two plus two, one plus one _it was a nightmare, having to sit through each and every single lesson, my brain going numb. Writing just made me want to scream, and the training we did was horrific.

What hit me hard as well, was having to watch the other kids. I watched the girls prance around in their skirts, and dresses, chatting away happily, and giggling. The war was over, so there were more kids allowed into the academy. Screening process was much tougher during a war, as they did not want anyone to take it like it was a game. In peace time though, anyone could try out. Those who failed, failed, and there was no large issue. As such, there were quite a few extremely feminine girls in the academy. I was called a boy by everyone, the suffix 'kun' added to my name. I was never called Kakashi-chan like Sakumo called me, and I had to use the boys bathroom.

I hated it. I hated the academy, for being faced with what I couldn't have. I would sit in a corner of the classroom, watching with hungry eyes as the girls giggled, or walked in their pretty skirts. During break, they would play with their dolls, and make up amazing adventures for the toys. I yearned to join them, but I didn't dare. I knew what being different meant. I knew that if I showed such a girly attitude, that I would be targeted.

I remember bullying a kid in highschool, who was gay. We were horrific to him, and I deeply regret it, but it did show me that I couldn't trust anyone. I would be struck down, and hard if anyone knew that I was a girl. I remembered some of the things done to transgender people in my old world, so I knew how nasty human beings could be. I was terrified of anyone doing anything like I had heard on the news to me. Rape, murder, beatings, slander, humiliation. Transgender people had been abused by many in my old world, and I wasn't sure if this new one would be different, and I was terrified that it might not be.

I threw myself into learning, working harder then anyone else. Whenever I looked up, I faced what I couldn't have, what was denied to me. So, it saved my sanity to focus on my schooling. I trained twice as hard as well. Kunai, shuriken, taijutsu, I soaked it up, becoming better, faster and stronger. I was so focused on my training and learning, that it was no wonder that I became the top student rather fast, surpassing the expectations of the first class.

It only took me two weeks to be bumped up to the next grade. Everyone kept praising me, calling me a prodigy. They all said that it was obvious because of Sakumo, and how great he was. That is was obvious his kid would be just as great as he was, that I would be the next White Fang. I didn't hear that though, i only heard 'he' or 'son'. One of the worst things I heard though was; _He's going to be a ladykiller, won't he?_ It just continued to drive home the point I could never be myself. That everyone expect certain things from me.

I was expected to be a masculine man, I was expect to surpass my father. I was expected to marry and have kids. I was expected to be a boy.

Keeping my mind busy, and off the world around me was all I could do in my situation. I didn't make many friends, due to me having no clue how to talk to kids my physical age.

Kids didn't talk about biology experiments, nor did they talk about the pros and cons of nature vs. nurture My interests where far to advanced for them, and the few who talked to me about ninja things, where to far behind me to interest me.

I ended up being bumped up two more grades after a month in the second year, because I was unable to connect with my peers, and because I already knew everything they taught. I didn't have much luck in that class either. The math I had learned already, history was easy if you knew tricks to memorize, and even the physical side of the class was lacking. I was naturally faster then most of the kids in my class, and my training was harder at home then most had, even some of the clan kids didn't have relatives drilling them as intensively as I drilled myself, trying to forget.

I also found that the higher I got in school, the harder it was to stand watching everyone. I would never go through what the other girls did. i would grow a chest, my hips wouldn't round. I wouldn't start my period. Instead, my voice would drop. My shoulders would broaden, and I would get much more testosterone in me then I had in my old life. I started to shut down my visible emotions, becoming more and more cold. Whenever someone asked why I wasn't smiling, or happy that I had gotten the highest mark, yet again, I would answer;

"_Rule twenty-five, a Shinobi doesn't show emotion." _I clung to the rule, refusing to back down. I never laughed, smiled, or did anything fun. I just studied. I suppose, it was counterproductive, hating seeing all the older kids, but studying to advance faster, but it would have been harder, to go through puberty, watching the other girls in my class go through what I should be to. It was easier to do it while younger, then when I was older.

"Hey, Kakashi-chan!" called out Sakumo one day, while I was studying. I was being bumped up, yet again, but this time I had to do a placement test. They were worried that it was me cheating on others tests or something that made me so smart.

"Hai, sir?" I called out. I never called Sakumo father. I still hated him to much for that. Sir was as far as I could go with being friendly.

"I was wondering if you wanted to learn a cool jutsu." he said, grinning at me. I was fairly certain my coldness hurt him, but I wasn't sure. I wasn't that good at reading emotions yet.

"What one?" I asked, not even looking up from the history book I was reading.

"Well, you can't preform it yet, but I can show you it." I rolled my eyes, turning another page in my book. What was the point then, of teaching me it? "I'm going to show you how to summon." that got my attention, as I turned towards him.

"Summons? What kind?" I asked, only partly able to contain my excitement. Was this how Kakashi got his summons in the manga? Sakumo grinned, saying the one word that made me want to squeal.

"Dogs."

Ninken were odd. Unlike the Toads, Snakes, or Slugs, the Dogs bonded to families, and instead of being one big group they were split up into tribes. The Hatakes had a contract reaching back generations, with one of the larger tribes of dogs. They were ruled over by a Major Alpha, who somehow knew when a new Hatake was born, and arranged it so they got a pack, when they turned ten.

Training took four years in total to do, which sucked, but it strengthened the bond between summoner and the summon. It was also during this time, that the core abilities of the summoner where made. All the dogs knew how to track, they learned that from their parents. However, it was up to us if we wanted to train them in tracking or in combat more. Most of the time, it was tracking. Hatakes were like the Inuzukas in a way; they were primarily trackers.

Sakumo broke that mold, by becoming the White Fang, a front line ninja. It was at a price though, I learned.

With a puff of smoke, a small pug appeared, looking battered and old. I only had one ear, with three long scars on it's face.

"Sakumo-kun!" said the pug, grinning crookedly. "How are you?"

"I'm doing good Nao." said Sakumo, kneeling down to rub the pug's head. "I want you to meet my heir, Kakashi." The dog looked at me, eyes cloudy. I realized then that he was blind.

"Hello Nao-san." I said, bowing my head respectfully. Nao walked over to me, limping as he did so. Watching him made me feel my chest squeeze. He was obviously, a winner of many battles, but each win had a price.

"Well, well, well. You finally convinced Yuki to marry you." chuckled Nao, as he sniffed me. "Come on, pat my head kid." I did so, feeling his very soft fur. "Where is she?"

"She died during child birth." Nao sighed, as I froze, biting my lip. I knew that it had happened, but hearing Sakumo say it so blankly, made me feel sick. I had, inadvertently taken a life. I had committed a murder, just bare seconds after I had been reborn.

Or, Kakashi had, technically. I wondered, briefly, if the Kakashi in my memories had ever felt that way, after hearing about his own mother. However, Nao distracted me, as he rubbed his head against my hand.

"Come on, keep rubbing." I obeyed the pug, a little amused "She was a beauty... so, Kakashi-chan is going to be a summoner, eh? Lets hope my pup will be part of the pack. I bet your going to be as good a ninja as your old man."

"Arigato." I said, as I scratched his ears, realising that I was petting the father of Pakkun, my future summon. I hid a smile. I had always liked the dog, he was so cute, and funny. The scene where he tells Sakura that he uses the same shampoo as her was always one of my favorites.

Nao and Sakumo talked for a while, mostly about old battles, while I alternated between petting Nao, and studying. I greatly enjoyed listening to those, as I had never really realized what Sakumo was actually famous for. Hearing the tales of his battles, put him in a new light. He was a great ninja, right under the sannin in terms of ability. Knowing that I was related to one of the strongest shinobi in his generation, made me realize why most people said that it wasn't a wonder I was a prodigy. On some level, I had known, but listening to Nao talk about the missions they went on, made it hit home all the harder. Sakumo had never failed a mission in his career. He always got it done.

His only mistake, was training his ninken to be trackers. Trackers can fight, to an extent, but only the Inuzukas had ever actually trained their dogs to fight so thoroughly, Hatakes don't. This mistake, cost him almost his entire pack. Nao was the only survivor and even then, he would never track nor fight again. It gave me a reason, why he would one day, chose his teammates over his mission. He lost his pack, and didn't want to loose anymore.

It was bit of a humbling experience, learning how great Sakumo was. How could I ever manage to match his legend? How could I become as great as he was? The Kakashi from the manga was great, but how could I, a university student trying to become a biologist, ever hope to match them?

I stayed up a long time that night, staring at the paper Sakumo and I had written on. I still didn't have my answer.

I ended up in the last class halfway through the year. I legally had to do the graduation test, and those were only preformed at the end of the year, so I was stuck in the class. It was actually more challenging then most, and I kind of enjoyed myself. I still had no friends, and most of the kids glared at me, or bullied me for my age but I was being challenged now, which just made me so happy. I was miles ahead of the other kids, but I still took a bit to figure out a math problem, or which plant was which.

Sakumo noticed I was happier, and was obviously happy about it himself. He summoned Nao more often, and taught me more and more about the Hatake clan. It was interesting, learning the clan's history, and the reason we have the White Chakra. It was never elaborated on in the manga, so learning it was a new thing, and I just soaked it right up. I also got a little closer to Sakumo, though I still hated him. However, I was able to push it away more and focus on what he taught me, instead of thinking over and over that it was his fault I was in the wrong body, that it was his fault my body did not match my mind.

It was about a month before graduation, when Sakumo went off on a mission. He did this a fair bit, and most of the time, it didn't matter. I was at the academy, and there was a genin team to keep an eye on me afterwards, but I had a sick feeling in my gut, as he left. I wasn't sure what it was, so I just kept on doing what I did.

About a week after he left, he came back, looking just broken. I didn't know why, until it was announced.

We were at war, and everyone believed it to be Sakumo's fault.

It's funny, how fast human beings change their opinions. One day, I was a prodigy, worthy of the Hatake name, the next, I was being spat on, and hated by all, because of Sakumo. He had it worse though, with his own teammates, the ones he saved, turning their backs on him. No one was on his side.

He was called traitor by every single ninja we crossed when we were in town. Even the civilians were unpleasant refusing service, selling us expired food or faulty weapons. Sometimes, they would throw rocks at Sakumo, or maybe even try to attack him. He would let them, but if it even went near me, he was in papa bear mode, and would hurt them just so I wouldn't be. He was fined, many times for it, while the perpetrators got off Scott free. A few times, we would come home, to find a window smashed, words painted onto our house, or to find that someone had egged our house.

I stopped hating him then, after seeing him take the insults, the rocks thrown at him, the vandalism done to our house. He walked through the village, head held high, not flinching, as he escorted me to school. I still didn't like him, but my hate was gone. He had enough hate from everyone else, he didn't need it from me.

The day before my graduation, I sat in my room, staring at my wall. I stared at the piece of paper on the wall, the graceful strokes of Sakumo, and the stubby lines of my fingers. I didn't get much sleep that night.

I passed the test with flying colors, much to the teachers disappointment. They'd wanted to see me fail.

I was walking home, when it happened. I was cornered by the other genin that had made it, all furious that the 'traitor's kid' had made it.

"Your father is a traitor." snarled one of them, as they circled around me. I raised an eyebrow, looking blankly at him.

"Is he a spy for any other village?" I asked, sliding my feet apart. "Has he ever been accused of being a spy?"

"He started a war." snapped a female Uchiha, her eyes flashing red, as she tried to intimidate me.

"And how is that being a traitor? He tried to save lives, did he not? How is valuing a human being's life being a traitor?" I asked. One of the boys grabbed my shoulder shoving me against the wall I had been cornered on.

"You think your so tough, just because you graduated early, huh?" he sneered.

"Actually, I think I'm tough because it's obvious you need five to one odds against a five year old." I said. I ducked the punch when it came, yanking my arm out of his grip. I didn't fight back, I would have been blamed, no matter who started the fight. All I could hope to do was keep dodging, which was actually very easy.

Sometimes, it amused me how good I was, compared to the others. My focus solely on learning and training had propelled me to great heights, coupled with the fact my new body had amazing reflexes. I was able to dodge rather well, the fists and the kicks. It was actually a really nice training exercise for me.

"What is going on here?" a voice suddenly asked. I stopped, mid dodge, the boy trying to punch me freezing as well. I turned to see a handsome blond man, who looked livid.

Namikaze Minato. The future Hokage, the shinobi who created a technique that called upon the Shinigami, and made a deal with it. I felt my face heat up, just a bit, but it could have been attributed to him seeing the fight, and not me fangirling over him. Which I kind of was, I'd always liked the smart guys from the anime, which was a bit of a contrast to my interest in real life, which had always been muscular men.

"The traitor's son graduated, we're just trying to teach him a lesson." said one of them. I hid my wince at the word son, really hating being called that, even five years into this life.

"I'm sickened by all of you." Minato said, as he clapped a hand on my shoulder. They all looked taken aback, as he pulled me away from them, glaring right into their faces. "Leaf ninja are suppose to protect one another, not hurt them because of why their father may have done. What if we all hated the Uchiha for what Madara did?" That made the lone Uchiha wince, as Minato led me out of the alley they had cornered me in, leading me back to my house. "You all right?"

"Hai, sir." I answered, giving a shrug. "It's happened before." Minato frowned, muttering under his breath, that it shouldn't have happened before, and it shouldn't happen at all.

Sakumo was furious that I had nearly been hurt, but he was more angry at himself then anything. He fussed over me the entire night, making me sushi, which I had always liked, and the real stuff was better then the crap I had bought at supermarkets in my first life. It was real this stuff, instead of the 'white sushi' that was bought at the market, where the fish was cooked.

When I went to bed, I heard him go outside, and work himself to death on our private training ground. I felt a stab of guilt, but shoved it aside. It wasn't my fault he was trying to kill himself with training. I feel asleep to nightmares that night, waking up every hour gasping for breath.

I didn't remember any of my dreams, only this vague sense of lose and anger. I just hoped it wasn't an omen or anything.

I had enough crap in my life, I didn't need a bad omen along with it.

* * *

Not a fan of the ending... I think everything else is good though!

Yes, there is heavy angst in this story. Kakashi is a transgender character, who remembers exactly what kind of crap other transgender people have gone through, such as 'corrective rape'. Look it up, it is not pretty.

Also, I kept her year in the Academy at one chapter because it was only one year she went. I am not drawing it out, and I really don't see the point in including lessons. Kakashi went to the academy and was bumped up fairly fast, due to her abilities, end of story. Also, this is a freaking boring part of her life, I want to get to the good stuff!

Hope you enjoyed it!


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: **Dysphoria

**Summery: **Reincarnation isn't always like it is in the fanfictions. Sometimes, you end up in a body you would never expect to have ended up in. Sometimes, you end up in a body, that is completely wrong. SI OC

**Notes: **This story contains possible triggers, themes that may make you uncomfortable and rather erratic thought processes. **  
**

**Small note: **To my knowledge, Sakumo committed suicide when Kakashi was eight. D!Kakashi has three more years until then, so currently, Sakumo is not going to commit suicide anytime soon.

I have other concerns, but they will be at the bottom.

* * *

I wasn't surprised that Minato ended up being my sensei. He had been assigned the Kakashi from the manga after all, but I had always thought that Kakashi had been assigned to him singularly. Instead, I had been assigned to him alongside two others. A civilian girl named Haruhi and a Inuzuka named Hikaru, who's dog was named Koinu. I held back a chuckle at the name, as it wasn't the most original of names.

They weren't warm or anything to me, but they weren't hostile. I suppose that's why they were put with me. Or perhaps it was the other way around, placing me with the people who wouldn't try and kill me for what Sakumo did.

We were the last ones to be picked up, and it was awkward. I sat beside Haruhi, watching her read a book, as Hikaru and Koinu horsed around. It was a book I had read, on lightning jutsu, so I was curious about it.

"How far are you in the book?" I asked, finally. Haruhi jumped, giving me this wide eyed look at my talking to her. I blinked, waiting for the response.

"Chapter three." she finally said. "I'm not sure whether or not I'm Lightning Natured, but I wanted to see what kind of jutsu I could do if I was." Her voice had this babyish quality to it, which I ignored, as I instantly began to speak,

"I read it, it's a good book. Chapter four has some interesting-" I began, feeling excited about talking about books. Haruhi had been the top kunoichi after all. She could keep up with me when I rambled on about books.

"Why bother?" asked Hikaru, as he played tug-a-war with his dog. "Female ninja are medics, not front line fighters. Or they're infiltrators." I frowned, as Haruhi launched into a tirade against the traditional roles a female would play in the forces, her voice loosing it's babyishness.

"Kunoichi are just as strong as men! Tsunade-sama is even stronger then anyone in this village!"

"She's a medic!"

"You just can't admit a woman is better then a man."

"Women can be whatever they want." I remarked, a little confused about the entire debate. There was a bit of a social stigma against women being front line ninja, mostly because of the fact women were seen as the weaker sex, even in this world most women were expected to have kids and give up being a ninja if needed. But, Tsunade had changed that view, so it was jarring to meet someone like Hikaru who was sexist. Then again, it was only recently that it had been changed, so it was probable that he still held those views.

Man, I couldn't wait to see his reaction to Tsume becoming the clan leader of the Inuzukas. I bet it was going to be hilarious.

"See, Kakashi agrees with me." Haruhi said, throwing an arm over my shoulder and pulling me into her side. Her voice had gone babyish and soft once more, making me frown. I was five physically, but she did not have to treat me like a baby with her words. Hikaru scowled at us, as I detached myself from Haruhi. Minato came in a few minutes later, with a happy wave. He led us to the roof, the traditional meeting place of the team with the Rookie of the Year.

"Now, lets start with introductions." Minato said, cheerfully once we were all settled. "Likes, dislikes, hobbies, dreams for the the future, that sort of thing." He really did look like his son, I mused, as we sat on the roof of the school. Except, no orange.

Thank Kami for that.

"I'm Haruhi!" said the girl, grinning happily. "I like sushi, my little brother, and the color blue! I dislike spiders, the color red, and tofu." I wrinkled my nose, as did she. Tofu was disgusting, in any life of mine. "I also dislike sexist idiots." She sneered at Hikaru, who glared back. Well, this would be fun with both of them on my team. "My hobbies are reading and training, and my dream is to be an amazing front line ninja!"

"I'm sure you'll be a great one Haruhi-chan." Minato said, ruffling her black hair. "How about you go next." he nodded to Hikaru, who grinned toothily.

"I'm Inuzuka Hikaru. I like my dog, Koinu, training and barbecue. I hate cats, baths and fleas." he ruffled his brown hair, his pup in his lap. "My hobbies are training, and playing fetch with Koinu, and I want to become the best tracker ninja in the village!" He was mature in some ways, not getting back with some comment at Haruhi.

"Now, your turn." Minato said, after ruffling the hair of Hikaru. I didn't smile, but I did bow my head.

"I'm Hatake Kakashi. I like sushi, reading, learning and Nao-san." Nao was a great uncle of sorts, even if it was odd to consider a dog my uncle, but when in Rome, do as the Romans do, so I just went with it. "I dislike bugs, rats and cats." Ninken did not get along with cats. Nao had a few choice things to say about felines, most words were unrepeatable in polite company. "My hobbies are calligraphy, and training, and I don't really have a dream. Maybe become a great ninja."

"Well, I'll make sure you all achieve your dreams." Minato said, grinning.

"Aren't you going to introduce yourself, sensei?" asked Haruhi, titling her head to the side.

"Sure. I'm Namikaze Minato. I like my girlfriend's cooking, my girlfriend and training. I dislike people who abandon their teammates, traitors and kidnappers. My hobbies are creating new jutsu and seals, and my dream is to become Hokage." Minato said, grinning.

"So, what now sensei?" Hikaru asked, his dog yipping his agreement.

"Now, it is time for your test!" said Minato, grinning at the shocked looks on Haruhi's and Hikaru's face. I wasn't surprised, but I did widen my eyes like I was, jerking back as well. Easy acting.

"TEST!?" Hikaru shouted, jumping up in anger. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Language, there is a child here!" Haruhi said. I gave her a dirty look. I may have been physically five, but I wasn't a child. I was a shinobi and that made a whole lot of difference.

Shinobi are bred to kill. And I mean bred. Shinobi do sometimes marry for love, but most of the time, the marriage of two shinobi is more or less an agreement to have a kid because they both find the other shinobi's skills strong, and they want their child to have the same traits. Clans do it all the time, to make their bloodline strong. After a child is born, the couple often sleeps with others. There are exceptions, Sakumo and Yuki, Shikaku and Yoshino, and a few more, but most of the time, marriage was just business between shinobi. Civilians believed in marriage and love, in fidelity. It was a large reason why most shinobi who married civilians often ended up divorced.

There was also the way the shinobi and the civilian kids were raised. Civilian kids almost never become ninja, because their parents could never have raised them to be the right stuff to become a ninja. Civilians raised their kids with soft words and hands. They were read stories about ninja saving the world courageously, where the hero always won, and everyone was happy in the end, and no one died. The bedtimes stories shinobi kids were told were not like that. They were gruesome, and had casualties, both good and bad. Civilians were given fluffy toys and plushy shinobi weapons. Shinobi kids were given anatomically correct dolls and wooden weapons, upgraded to dull and then live when they had advanced in skill enough.

Ninja are meant to be stone cold killers. At any time, a ninja could be ordered to kill an innocent baby, and they would have to do it, despite personal beliefs against it. Kunoichi were actually required to loose their virginity before age fourteen, because of the fact that fourteen was the age when they were trained for seduction missions.

It takes a certain kind of person to be a shinobi. Most civilians just didn't cut it. I wasn't fully sure if I cut it, but I was going to try my hardest anyway.

"The test you just took was simply weeding out the ones who were unfit to be considered for this test." Minato said, leaning backwards against the railing on the roof. "This one is made to separate the ninja from the pretenders."

"What kind of test is it?" I asked. I was fairly certain I knew exactly what it was, but I wanted to make sure I knew.

"A survival exam."

-0-

"So, Minato is teaching you?" Sakumo asked, as we ate dinner. It was ramen, homemade as well. Sakumo was an amazing cook, top of the line. Unlike me, as I actually could burn water.

Long story, and trust me, you don't want to know.

"Yeah. He's a nice guy." I said, as I swirled my chopsticks in the broth, scooping them into my mouth with ease. "My teammates are annoying though."

"A civilian and a clan member, correct?" Sakumo questioned, as he ate. I nodded, displeased still with my teammates. "You'll probably only have a year with them because your to smart not to become a chunin soon." Sakumo chuckled. I gave a small laugh at it, grinning at him.

"Thanks." I said, as we continued our meal in silence. After we washed up, I packed for the next day, sharpening my kunai, making sure I had ninja wire and a first aid kit. I also did a quick run through of my clothes, a loose vest made to stop most projectile weaponry, a plain black shirt and a pair of brown pants. Simple and sturdy. I also went through a run through in my head of what I remembered about Minato's fighting style. That odd seal thing that made him teleport, the rasengan... those were his two big moves, but I couldn't remember if he had made them around that time. I knew he had made them by the time Obito and Rin-

_Oh, hell._

A kunai I had been inspecting slipped out of my hand. It was only the reflexes I had recently gained that prevented me from spearing my own foot, as I twitched out of the way.

Uchiha Obito. Tobi. Obitobi.

He was going to be my teammate in a few years.

The most insane traitor in Konoha would be on my team.

The man who will unleash a demon would be on my team.

I sat down, feeling the world spin, the little world I had created full of hate and anger, where everything was someone else fault, it all came crashing down around my shoulders. It didn't matter. It really didn't matter in the larger scheme of things.

I was Hatake Kakashi, the Copy-Nin. Sharingan no Kakashi. Or at least I would be. The fact I was a woman stuck in a five-year-old males body seemed less of an issue now, that I finally woke up, and realized what lay ahead of me. It was still an issue, it just seemed to pale, when faced with what would happen.

The bridge... Rin's death... Minato becoming the Hokage... the Kyubbi being ripped from Kushina's body... the Akatsuki...

I put my head between my legs, feeling myself start to hyperventilate.

I wasn't ready. Damn it. I wasn't a bad person, what the did I do to deserve this? Being reborn into the wrong sex, being faced with the future of a world, knowing it but unable to see where to begin, where to start changing things. I could stop it! I could. I could stop Obito from becoming Tobi. I could, I could, I could.

But how? How could I do anything? What could I do to stop the future from becoming the hell I knew it would?

I didn't sleep that night, my mind whirling with my thoughts, unable to stop thinking, unable to breath, I was so terrified.

It was the first time the true reality of my situation crashed down on me, and it wouldn't be the last.

I knew it wouldn't.

-0-

From the anime or the manga, we gathered that teamwork was important in Konoha. That wasn't strictly true, as Sakumo's situation proved. However, people like the Third, Jiraiya and Minato all believed in teamwork. They all believed that the most important thing a ninja could have was teammates backing them.

On my team, that was next to impossible.

"There's only two bells, brat. Why do you think there's hidden meaning?" snarled Hikaru, glaring at me, as I hung upside down from a branch with my chakra.

"How many genin teams do you see with only two members?" I asked, feeling exhausted. 'Inuzukas are team players' was a down right lie. Hiakru worked well with Koinu, but it was like pulling teeth to get him to freaking listen to me. Coupled with my sleepless night, I was about ready to say screw it and fail. I really wanted to sleep.

"Only the ones that..."

"Lost a member. Now, do you want to be a genin or not?" I snapped, my patience worn thin.

The beginning of the test went as I expected, though he didn't make us wait for hours. He showed up on time, and simply told us what the test objective was. When time was called, we blended into the trees, and I tracked down Hikaru. Haruhi would simply baby me if I tried to talk to her directly, so I went for the Inuzuka. However, I had wasted ten minutes trying to convince the idiot I was right. Haruhi would have at least followed me, if only to 'protect' me.

"What's the plan then?" Hikaru asked, Koinu yipping at his heels.

"We need to find Haruhi. If I remember correctly, she has skill with genjutsu, right?" I asked, dropping down from where I was hanging. "I'm good with ninjutsu and taijutsu, but I haven't got the right knack with genjutsu. You have Koinu, so you can track, and you have your own taijutsu. We'll figure something out."

"Don't you have a pack? I thought Hatakes got a huge one." Hikaru asked, as his pup began to track down Haruhi.

"I have to wait till I'm ten until they're born." I answered, shrugging. "It takes four years to train after that, so it's going to be a while." Hikaru snorted, as we followed his black dog through the woods. Haruhi was hiding in a tree, and was annoyed by us tracking her down.

Her acceptance of the idea of us teaming up was quicker then Hikaru's but she was obviously disbelieving that I could come up with anything to help with the bells. However, as we hashed out ideas, she stopped, more focused on us trying to beat Minato.

"What does his girlfriend look like?" asked Haruhi, looking thoughtful. "If I know, I could do a genjutsu with her in it."

"I think red hair and green eyes." I remarked, trying to think of what Kushina looked like. I'd never met her face to face, and I only remembered the fanfictions where Harry Potter was her nephew or something clearly enough to try and put her looks together.

"So, you trap him, and we jump him?" asked Hikaru. Haruhi nodded, accepting the plan. I frowned.

"We should set up more traps. He is a jonin, academy level genjutsu wouldn't work." Haruhi scowled at me, offended but I ignored her. Let her be offended all she wants, I was right.

"I have some explosive notes." Hikaru offered. I pulled out my spool of ninja wire, grinning.

"What about you, what if your ambush doesn't work?" asked Haruhi, still offended that I didn't think she could fool a jonin. I'd forgotten how teenagers seemed to believe they were better then anyone else.

"Then we fall back and make a new plan." I answered, as we began to implement our plan. As we worked, I felt nervous and terrified. I was still entrapped in my thoughts from yesterday, and a part of me wanted to fail on purpose, so I wouldn't have to deal with the future.

I didn't want to be the one to try and save the future. I didn't want that responsibility on my shoulders. I honestly just wanted to crawl up into a little ball and whimper.

The traps weren't fancy, simple trip ropes and explosive notes, but they would do the job. Haruhi set off a genjutsu to make a loud bang, and we hid out of sight, waiting. Minato came through, looking for us. Haruhi launched right into the genjutsu, weaving it around him. He froze for a second, but broke it rather easily, looking around. I in turn set off a trap, an explosive note hidden right under him, forcing him to jump up, as Hikaru jumped out of the trees, Koinu with him, attacking. I in turn jumped out, launching into a kick, hitting Minato right between the shoulders.

He let me hit him, I knew it, but I still felt a thrill run through me at the idea I had actually landed a hit on Namizake Minato, the Yellow Flash. However, it became fear, when he smashed his arm into me, throwing me away. Hikaru was kicked off, and Koinu was thrown away, as Minato yanked out...

A three prong Kunai.

"Shit!" I cursed, jumping up, and throwing my own kunai. He deflected it, and threw his kunai, but I rolled out of the way, jumping away just as he flashed to where I had been. So, he did have the teleport thingy, which sounded really stupid when I said it like that. I made a mental note to actually learn what it was called, as Haruhi jumped out, throwing a barrage of shuriken at Minato, who again teleported away.

"Only two of you get the bells, you know." he called out, raising an eyebrow at us.

"There aren't any teams with just two genin on them, unless they lost a member." Hikaru said, as he tossed something to Koinu, who bit right into it. "_Jūjin Bunshin!_" With a puff of smoke, there was two of them, and they both growled at Minato, who simply smirked. My hands flashed, as Hikaru got ready.

I launched a ninjutsu attack at Minato, a simple one that really just distracted him, as Hikaru jumped at him, along with Koinu. Minato dodged, jumping over one of our trip ropes, though he did get tangled in another we hung near it. I snickered a little, as he cut himself out. He fell for a genin's trap, that was hilarious.

I jumped in to help Hikaru, as Haruhi began to flash through seals to make a genjutsu. Minato was disoriented enough for us all to jump him, as a team.

I jumped over one of the Hikaru's, and slashed at Minato with my Kunai, but he grabbed my arm and threw me off. I landed, slapping the ground as I did so, and jumped back up, only to get a face full of silver hair. My hair tie had snapped. I reached into my pocket, yanking out one of my extras, and yanked my hair back, shoving it into the tie, as one of the Hikaru's poofed, revealing Koinu, falling to the ground, breathing heavily from a kick to the stomach.

I flashed through hand seals, yelling out a warning to Hikaru and Haruhi, before I unleashed a rush of air, shoving Minato back. It wasn't much of a jutsu, but it did do the job, staggering him back a few steps.

I felt a bit of gratitude for my teammates, as they attacked right away when he staggered. Haruhi sucked at taijutsu, but she did her best, fighting hard against Minato, as I took a quick breath, and jumped into the fray once more.

Minato was good. He handled the three of us, four once Koinu had recovered, with ease, shoving us, punching us, kicking us. He didn't use jutsu, though we did. It was interesting battle. He was winning, no doubt about that, but we did hold our own.

Koinu managed to snatch the bells from Minato, jumping away with them in his mouth. We all jumped away then, standing in a line. Koinu dropped the bells into Hikaru's hand, who grinned wolfishly.

"Who gets the bells then?" called out Minato, looking interested. Hikaru bit his lip, tossing me one, and then, for a second, looked very conflicted. I answered by tossing it to Haruhi, who looked shocked. "Kakashi?"

"I'm Hatake Sakumo's kid." I answered, shrugging. "If I pass, my teammates end up with crap assignments, or dangerous ones because everyone blames my father for starting this war." It was the first time I had refereed to Sakumo as my father, after the huge blow up as a baby, but it felt right to do so, for some reason. It just felt right to refer to him as my father then. "I don't mind going back to the academy if it means that no one dies because of me." the two were silent for a second, before Hikaru shoved his bells into my hands.

"Here." he grunted, shoving his hands into his pockets. I answered by handing it to Koinu. "Take it!"

"No." I answered. Haruhi shoved her bell into my hand, and I tried to give it back, but she ducked out of the way, refusing to take it.

"Well then, I am pleased to announce... you all pass." said Minato, grinning at us. Hikaru whooped, pumping his fist, as Haruhi squealed. "You understand the most important part of being a shinobi: teamwork. With teamwork, you can beat anyone. But, there is also the other part of teamwork, sacrifice." He nodded to me. "Kakashi would willingly sacrifice himself so you could be safe, that is what a true teammate does. His father, on the same page, sacrificed his own standing in the village, for his teammates." He ruffled my hair, grinning at all of us. "Team practice is at ten, don't be late." he vanished in a yellow flash, leaving us alone in the forest.

"YES! WE'RE NINJA!" Hikaru yelled, pumping his fists into the air. I chuckled, shaking my head, as I dismantled the traps we had left. "Aren't you exicted at all, Kakashi?" he asked, Haruhi looking interested as well.

"Yeah, but I just want to go home and sleep right now." I said, shrugging. "I'm exhausted." And I still had things to think over.

The future was dangerous, and I needed to grow up to face it. I was still terrified about it, but I would take it as it came. I was a ninja now, and I would protect Konoha to the best of my abilities.

* * *

YOSH! Over 3500 words! WHO IS AWESOME! *fist pump* Any who, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Hikaru and Haruhi are made to be irritating, but I plan for them to grow out of it, later on. However, right now they display people that we don't see in the manga/anime: A sexist and a civilian who is still mentally a civilian, despite being a shinobi.

Okay, concerns of mine: To the anons who keep saying 'this is canon' 'you aren't changing anything', I'm only four chapters in. Do you know the future? Do you know what I'm going to change? No, so please just stop, and wait, please. Changing canon is trickier then most people think, as she can't be everywhere at once: She wasn't on the mission with Sakumo, so she couldn't stop him from saving his team and failing the mission. Also, it's a matter of realism to it. She can't change everything, that's impossible. I need a reasonable way to change something, I can't just go 'oh, I'll change this'. Writing these kind of fics is a lot harder then you think.

Now, I've been asked by a few people why I refer to Kakashi, in this story, as a she and transgender: Gender is a mental concept. Mentally, Kakashi is female, therefore, I refer to her as a she. Transgender means having a female mind in a males body, or a male mind in a female body.

Some people confuse transgender for transexual, which means transitioning between the sexes, as in getting surgery or hormone treatments. Right now, Kakashi is transgender. And, yes, later on she will be transexual. I just don't plan for it to be a perfect transition. Yes, there are ninja that can defy a lot of logic (Suigetsu turning into water) but, that is because they are born like that. Kakashi isn't born like that.

Her sexuality is also brought into question because of her gender vs. sex. I say she's straight because I am best friends with a transgender male, who defines his sexuality off his gender and not his sex. He is who I get most of my terminology from BUT not everyone uses the same terminology, nor do they define it the same way. It's a matter of personal preference.

All in all, gender and sexual identity is a very confusing thing. Go read Gender Confusion by the awesome phoenixyfriend if you want more of an insight.

Other notes: I am moving around update deadlines. Now it is every three weeks verses every two, because I am very busy with my last year of highschool. So, updates on all stories will be slower.

Review please!


	5. Chapter 5

**Title: **Dysphoria

**Summery: **Reincarnation isn't always like it is in the fanfictions. Sometimes, you end up in a body you would never expect to have ended up in. Sometimes, you end up in a body, that is completely wrong. SI OC

**Notes: **This story contains possible triggers, themes that may make you uncomfortable and rather erratic thought processes.

* * *

"I swear, if you speak one more time-"

"Oh, what is a girl gonna do to me?"

"HIKA-"

"Both of you, shut the hell up." I snapped, whipping my head around, and glaring at them. It had been two months since we graduated, and already, I was considering murdering my teammates. Both of them drove me insane. Hikaru was a sexist ass, and Haruhi was a civilian. She mothered me every five seconds, and tried to get me to quit being a shinobi, until I was 'old enough.' She also was oblivious about the real dangers of the shinobi world, talking about joining the Seduction Corps, without really knowing what they were. She was... innocent. More innocent then I had ever been, in both of my lives. "Okay, that's three hundred, seventy-" I returned to taking stock of Konoha's food supplies, the others doing the same.

In times of peace, D-Ranks were simple chores done for civilians, as a way to show that ninja will work any job, as long as it pays. It's also done to prolong training and teamwork exercises. We catch cats to give us basic tactics, do the shopping to learn organizational skills, weed gardens to learn how to recognize plants...

In times of war, D-Ranks are inspecting stock piles, digging trenches, burying bodies. We bury the dead shinobi that were tortured to death, or the ones who bit down on the cyanide pill to fast. We dug trenches so that shinobi had a place to drop into if needed, to avoid fights. Inventory was self explanatory. We were workers, making sure everything was alright, just in case the village was put under siege, so we could fight back.

"You shouldn't use those words Kakashi-kun!" scolded Haruhi, making me roll my eyes, not flinching anymore at 'kun'. I had become far to use to it.

"I really don't care. I just want to finish this mission. Tou-san and Nao-san plan on training me tonight, and I really don't want to do balance training in the dark." Balance training was done with a bucket of water in each hand, and one on my head. Sakumo threw Kunai at me, and Nao jumped at me. It was to make sure I could dodge anything, and still keep my balace, no matter what. Doing it in the dark was a pain I did not want to deal with. Barking came from the pup riding in Hikaru's hood, who told me, as he marked down how many spindle of ninja wire there were;

"He wants to know how Nao is. His dad fought alongside him once."

"He's good. Scares me half to death when he jumps at me in the dark though." I said, ignoring Haruhi's huff. I could stand Hikaru, despite his sexism. He would grow out of it, or he would get put in his place by a stronger woman one day, but Haruhi was a different kettle of fish. She kind of reminded me of Sakura, in the first half of the manga, but she wasn't like her at all. Sakura had the making's of a great kunoichi; great chakra control, a strong will, willing to work past her fears. Haruhi didn't. She was vain, loud and seemed to think that the entire shinobi lifestyle was just a game to play. When we trained together, whether it be chakra control, taijutsu or simple teamwork exercises she sat out, and no matter what Minato-sensei tried, she would not give in. She refused to listen, claiming genjutsu was all she needed.

Itachi was a genjutsu genius, but he used many other skills, as well as Kurenai. They both used other skills to boost their effectiveness in combat. Haruhi didn't. I secretly bet she wouldn't last past one mission. We weren't in peace times, where C-Ranks were bandit hunting, or escorting. We were in war times, where C-Ranks were running messages behind enemy lines, and killing spies.

Konoha was a fair and diplomatic place in peace time...

It was a tyrant in war. And Minato couldn't cut her from the team, he wasn't allowed once he had passed her, so we were stuck with her until she was either thrown out by the Hokage or killed on a mission. She wasn't allowed to quit until she had completed five years in the service, as a return for teaching her, much like the military did in my old world; work for them for a few years and they would pay for your education.

Most civilians had to pay for the schooling of their kids, though it really wasn't much from what I understood though numbers had never been my strong point. Biology had always interested me more. However, Haruhi had gone to the academy, not the civilian school, and as such was legally bound to serve five years. If she didn't, unless it was because of death or serious injury, she would be thrown into jail without a thought.

A bit frightening, but she did know the rules, she signed the same contract I did when I joined the academy, the same everyone did.

"How are my adorable students doing?" asked Minato, suddenly appearing, removing me from my thoughts. Haruhi jumped, but I just looked up at him, face bland, use to his sudden appearances after learning from him for a while.

"Fine sensei." I finished writing down how many sacks of flour we had. I'd been put in charge of writing all the food we had stockpiled down, as Hikaru did weapons and Haruhi did clothes and other items like wood planks. Things you may need, no matter what. "After we're done this last row, we'll be done the warehouse."

"Great job kiddies!" Minato said cheerfully, ruffling Hikaru's hair, as well as mine. He then did the same to Haruhi, who whined, but grinned all the same. Minato had this charisma that made it impossible to be really mad at him. He was like a big brother to all of us, or a father figure to Haruhi, who only had her mother to raise her. "Kakashi, I was asked by your dad to tell you that he had a mission, so he won't be home until next week." I sighed, but nodded, feeling a little disappointed.

Since I had started calling Sakumo 'tou-san', we'd gotten closer. We talked a lot, trained a lot, and just spent time together. He also was attempting to teach me how to cook, which wasn't going well.

I nearly burnt down the house last time, just by trying to boil water for ramen. Yeah, I'm not sure how that works either, but it happened. Skumo still tried, but I think he was taking it as a an offence against himself, that he was such a good cook and yet he couldn't teach his kid how to cook.

It was amusing to watch him try, and get upset. Me and Nao spent many evenings laughing at his tantrums. Of course, he would run me ragged the next day in training...

So worth it though.

"Then what are you going to do Kakashi-kun?" Haruhi asked, worried.

"Tou-san leaves money for me if he's gone during a mission. I'll buy supper with that, and we get paid today too. I'll survive." I shrugged, as Haruhi began to rant a child shouldn't be left alone. I tuned her out, and finished my part of the mission, as did Hikaru. We waited for Haruhi to finish, then we took off for the mission office, and got our money for the job. It was enough for a lunch and maybe a bit of shopping. I wondered, briefly about henging and going out to buy a doll or a dress, but I shook the idea off. We were in the middle of a war, wearing a henge would be stupid. I'd get caught in an instant, and besides...

I didn't want to have to wear a fake face to show that I was a girl. I wanted to be seen as myself. I wanted to wear skirts without chakra covering my face... I wanted to be looked at like I was beautiful, not my facade. I had a bit of hope, sex operations were in my world, and while the Naruto world wasn't the same... it could be that there was an operation here to help me.

I just needed to work up the guts to talk to my father about it.

We went our seperate ways after we were paid, Minato reminding us to be at our training field at ten. I headed towards the ramen shop, not wanting anything big to eat, and not wanting to go home to the empty house just yet. I ordered a bowl, and was about to start eating when a voice shouted, gleefully;

"A bowl of miso please." I looked up out of curiosity, the same way people look up at shouts in public places and froze, eyes wide.

Standing at the ramen stand was Uchiha Obito, in all his goggled glory. He had a huge grin on his face, looking carefree and happy.

I had a small kit of poisons on my thigh. I bought them out of curiousness more then anything, not really planning on using them. A million ideas ran through my head. Slip it into his miso, one to kill him slowly. A senbon to the side... maybe trail him and just snap his neck later...

_How can you think of this, when he has done no wrong? _a voice drifted through my mind.

_But he will!_

_ So you will jump the gun, and kill an innocent, for something that will happen years from now? He is not Tobi._

_ Not yet._

_ Yet is the key word._

I felt stupid for arguing with myself, but as I ate, watching Obito from the corner of my eye, the more I contemplated it. Obito... was not Tobi. Obito was a grinned too much, laughed too hard and lived too freely. He was... innocent. Clean.

Could I really kill him for something that I could prevent, no matter how hard it seemed? I could do something... even if the rock slide still happened, I could keep Rin alive, I could save him... I could change the future... but how? How could I stop the future from happening...

_The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. _I thought, as I put down my chop sticks and turned towards the boy.

"Hey, I like your goggles." I immediately scolded myself.

_'I like your goggles?' Really?! What a lovely conversation starter._

"Thanks." _Never mind, he liked it. _"I like your hair!" he nodded to my long silver hair, pulled back into a simple ponytail. "I'm Uchiha Obito by the way!" he offered his hand, and I took it."

"Hatake Kakashi, pleased to meet you." Obito grinned at me, and with that, I knew I had taken my first step.

I had started my journey. Where it would lead me, I had no idea, but that was life. We never knew what would happen next, and if everything worked out right, I would be as blind as every one else in the future.

I could only hope that everything would work out in the end for me.

* * *

Heh... SORRY! I am so sorry for the length. Urgh! I hate how short it is, but it just felt perfect to end it there, and when I tried to lengthen it, it just got stupid and boring.

Anyway, yay computer is fixed! So I can keep updating! Oddly enough, I figured out how to fix it by stumbling across a website online. So, yay!

Hope you enjoyed the chapter, as it is the first official large step away from canon: Kakashi-chan and Obito meeting earlier.

Anyway review please.


	6. Chapter 6

**Title: **Dysphoria

**Summery: **Reincarnation isn't always like it is in the fanfictions. Sometimes, you end up in a body you would never expect to have ended up in. Sometimes, you end up in a body, that is completely wrong. SI OC

**Notes: **This story contains possible triggers, themes that may make you uncomfortable and rather erratic thought processes.

* * *

"Well... this is boring." Obito claimed, flopping backwards. I rolled my eyes. Obito was rather mature for a seven year old, but he was still a little kid, and as such, got bored fast.

"I thought you wanted to make your fireballs larger." I said, still sitting up straight. He groaned, as he got back into position.

"I don't see how meditating helps." he whined.

"You can find your chakra easier. Tree walking has the same effect, but you already know how to do that, so we're trying this." I had taught him tree walking first, a month into our friendship, and found that he was an eager student... but more often then not, I got a good laugh when he fell off the tree, landing on his back with a thump, and a yelp.

Come on, it was funny. I dare anyone try and do not laugh at his face when they see it.

He still wasn't happy with his jutsu size, which he still hadn't showed Fugaku it. He wanted to impress the man, so he turned to me, which I was flattered by, since he did know Sakumo, who could teach him, but he came to me. However, I learned something interesting about myself.

I had no patience for teaching. I got annoyed with Obito when it took him over a week to learn, when I knew that some people took a while to learn it. I found myself close to snapping when he messed up, and I really wanted to strangle him when he complained. I wasn't very surprised though, I'd always been very short tempered.

I really hoped I could fix everything. Dealing with Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura in the future would drive me insane. Especially Naruto. I'd drag him in to get checked for ADD or whatever before I could deal with him. No kid can be that hyper without some sort of attention disorder.

"Oi, Kashi-chan, Obito-chan." Nao called, padding out of the house. "Sakumo says it's dinner time." Obito was up like a shot, sprinting into the house, laughing.

"He's never going to learn." I complained, standing up, and brushing off my clothes. I'd been wearing a kimono that day, since it was in fact a rest day for me, until Obito appeared, and I started teaching him meditating, or trying to anyway.

"Well, he is a kid, Kashi." Nao said, as he led me into the house. Sakumo was listening to Obito ramble with a bit of a grin.

In the three months I'd known Obito, or at least could literally say it, since you can't say you know a person if they're just characters in a comic literally, Sakumo had seemed happier. He was less gaunt in the face, and more smiley around everyone, making me remember the man from when I was a baby. It was rather nice, though I had no clue why he seemed happier now.

"So, how was the academy Obito?" Sakumo asked, as we dug into the supper he'd made.

"Boring." announced the Uchiha. "All we did was learn history."

"But that was easy." I remarked, not being able to help myself. Obito was hilarious when we got into fights.

"Maybe for super geniuses like you, but for me, it's not." Obito said, scowling at me.

"Or maybe your brain is to tiny to comprehend the very stupendous work they give you."

"... Stue-what?"

"It seems I win."

"No fair! Unfair usage of big words!"

"So fair, you didn't know what it meant!" Sakumo sat back, smirking at us. We always got into these spats. We actually had a sheet of paper with ticks on it, showing who won each spat.

I was in the lead, naturally.

"Ahem." a voice interrupted us, as I was about to shove some rice into Obito's mouth. I looked up to see Minato, standing there with a grin on his face.

"Sorry for interrupting, but... we have a C-Rank." I stopped instantly, sitting up straight. We hadn't got a C-Rank yet, mostly due to me. I wasn't an idiot, I heard the mutters about me being 'his' child. "We have to leave now." I stood, and rushed to my room, changing quickly, a habit I developed to avoid down there. I tied my headband around my forehead, and took a deep breath.

My first real mission. Not a D-Rank, where the most danger you would face was boredem, or sore arms from digging to long. Not a training camp out, where your sensei simply hit you with paint balls- which really hurt in this world, more so then my old one. This was real. I could die in this, I could be captured, I could... I could spill the beans about the future to the enemy. I could doom the world to chaos, I could...

I took a deep breath, and looked towards my wall, where it was. The picture, Sakumo's elegant strokes, and my stubby letters. Kakashi.

I was Kakashi, or at least I had his body and his brain, and Kakashi was probably one of, if not the, biggest badass of his generation. I'd be fine, besides Kakashi had to live, so the story line would work. I'd be fine.

At least, that's what I told myself, trying to be brave, as I actually faced the fact I was going on a mission that could kill me. I was going on a mission that could mean my death if I screwed up, it could mean the entire destruction of the time line...

_And I need to stop thinking this, or I'll go insane. _I left my room, and went to the bathroom, splashing my face with water. After taking a few breath, I went to the dinning room, where Obito, Sakumo and Nao were.

"Keep up mediating. Nao-oiji, bite him if he forgets or slacks off." I said to Obito first, hugging him goodbye. He scowled, and hugged back, muttering into my shoulder, before I let go, and hugged Nao, who nuzzled my shoulder. After I left go, I focused on Sakumo. I threw my arms around him and hugged him tightly, before I said, pulling back, "Don't worry tou-san, I'll come back." He hugged me tightly, his eyes closed.

"Please do."

-0-

Why the hell I wanted to go through puberty as a girl, again, escaped my mind as I watched Haruhi growl, and smash around. She had recently started her period, and the hormones were driving her crazy. She cried at the drop of a hat, tried to kill Hikaru, literally _kill_ him, when he insulted her. Four times, she took out a kunai, and went for his jugular, screaming the entire time about how males were all assholes who had no idea how lucky they were.

She broke a tree once, when we took a break, and trained a bit. She had gradually given up sitting on the side lines during spars during the few months before our mission, but never had she put so much effort into it. She destroyed the tree, before bursting into tears about it. And the cramps were ones who had her doubling over in pain, grasping for breath. And then she'd try to murder Hikaru as soon as he made a comment about women not being able to stand pain.

Kunoichi on periods were terrifying.

"And this is why people say that 'hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.'" I deadpanned, as Haruhi mauled Hikaru after a comment about her gender... again.

"Kakashi-chan, I believe you have learned the most important lesson a man can learn." Minato said. I winced a bit at his wording. I was not a man, I had a male body, but I was a woman, and like any woman, I wanted to hit someone who called me a man. "Never piss off a kunoichi on her period."

As I watched Haruhi cry, and yell, I thought about my situation, again. I tried to ignore it, or to try and enjoy my body, but the very thought of it made me sick. And even though I wondered about my sanity, wanting to go through the hell known as menstruation again, I felt hatred towards Haruhi, for having that, and hating it to so much, just as I pitied and empathized with her for it.

Haruhi had all I wanted, but like many girls at that age, she didn't want it. I wanted to scream at her that she should suck it up, because some people who were girls, who wanted it, couldn't have it because they were stuck in the wrong bodies. I wanted to scream and shout, I wanted to shake some sense into her, but I didn't. I just glared, and hated her, just as much as I hated myself.

-0-

It was a simple mission. We were delivering information to a camp near enemy lines. No one expected trouble, other then a possible chunnin team having sneaked across, so we were sent. Half way there, after Haruhi was done her period, we found out something, interesting.

The entire thing was a trap.

Not a trap for any random genin team, oh no, it was a trap for us, as in the Yellow Flash, an Inuzuka, a genjutsu user, and me. The child of Hatake Sakumo, the man who was blamed for the war. They knew we were coming, and had prepared accordingly.

I don't remember much, it's a blur. Adrenaline and pain cloud my memory, as well as the fact I wanted to forget what happened. Kami-damn it, I want the things I do remember to fade, I want to stop remembering.

I remember killing a man, stabbing him right through the heart, and the blood splattering into my face, hitting my lips, and sliding down. On instinct, I'd licked it up, rather stupidly, but the metallic taste of blood filled my mouth as soon as it hit my tongue.

I remember the smell of blood clouding my nose, as I struck another man across the jugular, that and pee, as he lost control of his bowels in his finale moments. I remember feeling my stomach heave, as Hikaru and Koinu ripped the throats of four men out.

I remember seeing Haruhi weave a genjutsu around a man, and force him to kill himself, his own sword decapitating himself. She kept going though, cutting through men, using her genjutsu, even as one man slashed at her, leaving a long cut on her stomach.

I remember pain, as my arm was broken, as a cut was ripped across my nose. I remember the feeling of my broken arm being stabbed, like a hot poker, as I tried to take down a man, only to need help from Hikaru, who ripped his head off.

I remember seeing Minato fight six at once, only for him to be knocked back. He turned, and threw us the scroll.

"RUN!" He had yelled as I caught it in my free hand. I stuffed it inside my shirt, and obeyed, Hikaru and Haruhi following as we took to the trees, bounding long swiftly, as a ninja followed. The pain in my arm hurt horrifically, but I refused to let go, I refused to give up, as I focused on reaching the camp, on reaching safety.

"AHHHH!" Haruhi suddenly screamed, as a kunai struck her leg. She stumbled, missing the next branch. I turned my head to see her fall, the enemay ninja dropping down with her.

"Hikaru, Haruhi needs assistance!" I called to him. He scoffed, glaring at me.

"We need to get that scroll to the camp." I frowned, looking at the Inuzuka.

"You'd leave a teammate to die?"

"Yeah, I can make the choice your father should have." I stared at him, as he glared back. A thousand words passed through his eyes.

I could have turned away. Haruhi was liability, a loose end. I didn't even like her, to jealous to really care about her, only wanting what she had, her female body, her ability to carry children. i wanted to be her, to be female, and I hated the fact she was jealous of me and Hikaru for having male bodies.

I could have turned away, and let her die. No one would blame me, no one would think less of me. In fact, they'd be proud I picked a mission, over a teammate. They would say that I wasn't like my father, that I was better.

I stopped right then, staring out in front of me. I could do it, just keep going, I could do it. I picked up my foot to move forward, but a single thought stopped me.

_Sakumo would be disappointed in me. _I hadn't really cared about disappointing my old father, but the very thought of doing the same to Sakumo drove a spike into my heart. He took care of me, he loved me more then anything, I could see it in his eyes. And I was about to go against everything he believed in, what he sacrificed so that Konoha would be safe.

I turned around, and got ready to move, when Hikaru grabbed my arm.

"We need to get the scroll-" Hikaru snarled, but I snarled right back,

"Don't you remember the damn test?"

"That was a test, Kakashi. This is real. Teamwork is great in theory, but it's nothing in the field. You should know that, with what your bastard of a-"

"You shut up about my tou-san!" I yelled at him, yanking my arm out of his grip. "He's a damn better man than you!"

"So, you'd be hated by the entire village, over a girl? A weakling, no good for anything but pushing out babies?" sneered the boy. I yanked the scroll out of my shirt, and shoved it into his hand.

"I'd rather be hated then be a teammate killer, you fucking asshole." I took off, jumping through the trees to Haruhi, leaving behind Hikaru.

Haruhi was holding him off, but with her leg, she couldn't get far, and he was breaking through her genjutsu fast.

I slammed into the man's back, knocking him away from Haruhi. My broken arm screamed at the treatment, but I refused to obey it, striking out at him with a kunai I had pulled out of my pouch.

"What are you doing?!" Haruhi said, as I got in front of her. "The rules-" I interrupted her, turning my face so I could see her and the enemy nin.

"Those who break the rules are trash, but those who abandon their teammates are worse than trash."

* * *

Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Sorry for being two days late. Diploma exam.

Review please, while I hide because of sharp things thrown at me for the cliff hanger.


	7. Chapter 7

**Title: **Dysphoria

**Summery: **Reincarnation isn't always like it is in the fanfictions. Sometimes, you end up in a body you would never expect to have ended up in. Sometimes, you end up in a body, that is completely wrong. SI OC

**Notes: **This story contains possible triggers, themes that may make you uncomfortable and rather erratic thought processes.

**Warning: **This chapter contains torture.

* * *

Fighting with a broken arm is perhaps one of the most stupidest things you can do. I hadn't even put it into a sling, and yet there I was, battling it out against a jonin, who was ten times my superior in combat and in tactics. Haruhi helped as much as she could, with her leg. She supplied genjutsu against him, and threw kunai, as I danced around him. I had to be a bit careful, as the small clearing was right next to a cliff, fairly high up. I wouldn't call it crazy high, but it was high enough I would die if I fell.

I slashed at his legs, throwing the pitiful amount of ninjutsu I knew against him. He was slowed, but he still kept coming, a smirk on his face the entire time. He wasn't even breaking a sweat as he fought us.

"Your good, brat, but your already hurt." he taunted as I fought against him. "I'd planned on taking girly back, seeing if she knew anything useful. But, Hatake's kid? Your a much better catch."

"What the hell do you think we know!?" Haruhi cried out, shocked. "We're just genin!"

"Your the Yellow Flashes genin." the way he shaped the words Yellow Flash sent a shiver down my spine. It was so... spiteful and hateful. Like he hated Minato-sensei more then anything in the world. It wasn't unthinkable that he felt that way, I remember that sensei was in fact a huge threat during the war, but so early and to threaten genin? How can anyone inspire that kind of hatred? "That's more then enough reason for us to want you." he kicked out at me, slamming into my broken arm. I couldn't hold back my scream, as my arm broke again, my already on fire nerves sparking even more. Hot tears filled my eyes as I fought against the pain shooting up my arm and into my brain.

I dodged his next kick, trying to ignore the pain the best I could. I threw a kunai at him, but my aim was off, making him laugh darkly. He jumped at me, slamming his palm into my chest, throwing me back.

"Kakashi-chan!" screamed Haruhi, as I slammed into a tree near the cliff. I gasped, feeling my arm burn with pain. The man came forward, and slammed his foot onto my leg before I could move, making me scream again as my leg broke.

"Looks like we have a screamer." I heard the man say through my pain. I looked up, clenching my teeth, trying to hide how much it hurt... a lost cause, but at least I tried to do so. "Don't worry little boy, we won't hurt you so bad. Your daddy was the one who let us start this war in the first place.

"Go fuck yourself." I snapped, glaring at him. The comment about my father, about Sakumo and being called a boy made me loose my cool for a second. I even spat in his face, a surprising thing really. Seemed like Kakashi's brain actually was helping me with courage... or it was the adrenaline pumping through my veins.

"You see, brat, that isn't nice." said the man, pulling out a kunai, a smirk on his face. Haruhi gasped, and got up, rushing at him, but he threw his kunai, pinning her bad leg to a tree, making her launch into the most blood curdling scream in the world. "You have to wait your turn. I have something... special planned for you." He eyed her with this sick look, and I shuddered. I did not want to know what that look meant. "Are you ready little boy?" he asked, dropping to his knees, and pulling another blade out, and putting it to my face. "I won't hurt you to bad, I don't want to spoil the fun for anyone else." he pressed it to my face, drawing it down from the right corner of my eye to my mouth. I threw out a punch with my good arm, but he was to quick. With a thrust, he had pinned my hand to the ground, the kunai going right through my hand.

I screamed, my nerves overloading with pain from my arm, leg and now my hand. He twisted my broken arm, and spots filled my eyes as I cried out in horrific pain. To much, to much... I began to slip, only to be brought back by a hand on my chest, glowing green.

"Can't have you falling asleep yet little boy." he mocked. As I stared at him, I realized that I wasn't going to survive this. He would kill me sooner or later, in the most brutal way imaginable.

I was going to die at age five.

I accepted it, closing my eyes in pain. I'd died once before, this time it hurt more, but at least I died trying to save my teammate. I died in a better way then I did before. I just hoped Sakumo didn't kill himself over this. I wasn't worth it.

A yell forced me to open my eyes, which were filling with even more tears, to see what was going on.

He had made a crucial mistake, he'd taken his eyes off Haruhi, who had managed to get the kunai out of her leg. She threw herself at him, armed with two kunai, one in each hand. He was taken by surprise, and she took him down. She was... sloppy, but brutal as she stabbed at the man, managing to get him good a few places, though unfortunately non-fatal ones. After the initial surprise though, he turned the tables, and threw her off... onto the edge of the cliff. I stared in shock, as she tried to stay up right, but she couldn't, her leg was to wounded, and she...

"HARUHI!" I screamed out as she fell backwards, off the cliff, a look of shock on her face. "HARUHI!" I cried out again, surging to my feet, adrenaline pumping, but I was stopped by the knife in my palm, I couldn't get up, I couldn't get to her, as she fell. I heard her scream one last time, before a loud, sick, wet smack sound was heard. I whimpered, closing my eyes tightly.

She had died trying to help me. She died because she had thrown herself at my torturer.

I was the one who glared at her, who sneered at her. Hikaru was an ass to her, but... I was just as bad. I'd hated her, more or less, from the beginning. I was such a bitch, looking down at her... All because I was jealous. I was jealous of her, so I belittled her in my mind. I looked at her, and saw what I wanted... and hated her for it.

And she died trying to save me. She had given he life up for me, when truthfully, I didn't deserve it. I hadn't deserved her kindness, nor her care. I had thrown each and every single time she'd ever been nice to me, back in her face, and yet she had kept on being my friend, kept on being nice to me. Kept on being generous.

She gave me a bit of cash if I ran low when Sakumo was on a mission. She worried over me, and while I found it insulting... it showed she cared. She cared for me, and Hikaru, though he care was more subtle for Hikaru. She truly cared... And what had we done, but throw it back in her face. I may have come back for her... but it wasn't for her, it was so I could look Sakumo in the eye without feeling guilty. I was trying to live up to the Kakashi in my head... I even used one of his lines.

And it cost me the most amazing girl I had ever known.

"Are you crying?" laughed the man. My eyes snapped open, and I looked at him, trembling in self hatred. "Over that bitch? Here's a piece of advice, I'd save your tears. You'll need to shed them for yourself." Adrenaline pumped through my veins, as I snapped my good leg out, catching him in the stomach, and flinging him a bit off. I rolled to my side and grabbed the kunai holding my hand down in my mouth, pulling it out.

I could stand, I couldn't move much, even with my body full of adrenaline, but I could move enough to throw the kunai. I threw it hard enough to nail him right in the groin, much to my pleasure.

"FUCK!" he screamed, doubling over. I smirked, as he applied chakra to it. I was going to die, but at least I got the bastard back. "Now, you pissed me off, you little-" a blonde blur struck him, throwing him into a tree. He looked up in shock, as did I.

"Don't touch my student." Minato snarled, attacking the man with a flurry of movement. My body decided that it had enough then, as my eyes rolled up and I blacked out from blood loss and my adrenaline rush crashing.

-0-

I woke up a week later, in Konoha's hospital with Sakumo passed out in the chair next to me. I looked around, confused for a bit, before it all came rushing back; the mission, the fight, me screaming at Hikaru, going back for Haruhi, the torture, Haruhi... Haruhi...

"Haruhi." I whispered, feeling tears prick at my eyes. "Oh, fuck... I'm sorry." I sobbed, not bothering to hide my face, my left arm incased in a cast and my right hand bandaged up. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm-" two arms wrapped around me, and pulled me to a chest.

"It's okay Kashi-chan." Sakumo said into my hair. "I'm here. It's okay." I buried my face into my father's chest and sobbed.

"It's all my fault. She died saving me." I whispered, feeling the words slam into me. It's all my fault... It's all my fault.

"It isn't your fault Kashi-chan." Sakumo said into my hair. "It isn't your fault."

I couldn't believe him though. I never could.

And I never would.

* * *

... Yeah, short, but... everytime I added something, it just didn't work out right... Bah, this is a good way to end it.

I have a job now, so I'm busier then normal, though I have graduated. And I got my heart broken on the same day. Yay!

Anyway, Review please!


	8. Chapter 8

**Title: **Dysphoria

**Summery: **Reincarnation isn't always like it is in the fanfictions. Sometimes, you end up in a body you would never expect to have ended up in. Sometimes, you end up in a body, that is completely wrong. SI OC

**Notes: **This story contains possible triggers, themes that may make you uncomfortable and rather erratic thought processes.

_Word of advice: Always make sure to copy your chapter. Especially if your internet sucks, and you don't realize you missed like 50 words from the last time it went nuts on you._

**Note: **To all who are reading this, and still thinking Kakashi will accept her body, stop reading. She will never accept a male body. She will always want a female body, no matter what. IT WILL NOT CHANGE. So please, if you think she will magically accept being male, do not read further. You will only be disappointed.

* * *

It rained on the day of the funeral. Haruhi was cremated, like most ninja. Her mother had tried to argue against it, but she was over ruled. I stood, leaning on a pair of crutches, as my teammate was burned.

I felt nothing. Just tired and sad that a life had been ended so young. Her death didn't truly affect me. Sure, I was sad she had died, sad that I had never bothered to get to know her, but... I hadn't liked her. She wasn't a friend, just a teammate.

A teammate who had died for a teammate who had hated her.

After the funeral, her mother walked up to me, and spat right in my face. Sakumo moved forward, as did Obito but I simply looked at her. her eyes were red and puffy, and she had tear tracks covering her face.

"She died for you." she growled. "She died so you could live. You, the son of the traitor!" Sakumo didn't flinch, as I simple looked at her. "They wanted you, you little bastard, and she died trying to save you." she turned around, storming away, but stopped, whirling around to glare at me. "I hope they really get you one day. I hope they break you." with those words, she left.

A week later, we heard that she had took an entire bottle of sleeping pills. She was buried next to her daughter's memorial stone. We didn't go to the funeral, but I did burn a candle for her.

Sakumo took her words to heart, and bought me a mask, just like the one from canon, to hide my face. He never wanted someone to come after me because I was his child again.

I found it completely awesome. I was going to wear _Kakashi's_ mask. The most iconic thing about him, other then the eye. I was going to have the _most_ badass piece of clothing ever.

I wore it everywhere, though Obito thought I was crazy.

"Everyone know what you look like." he pointed out after a month, as we relaxed in my living room. I was doing some physical therapy under his ever so watchful eye, and it was coming alone alright. "Why wear it in Konoha?"

"Because I want to... and because can you imagine in twenty years? When I have my own genin team, I can screw with them by never revealing my face, driving them crazy with wonder." I told him, as I walked around the room slowly. I no longer needed crutches as much, but I was still getting use to walking again without them.

"...Well, that's going to be fun." Obito grinned. "If one is my cousin, I call dibs on tormenting him with the knowledge I know what you look like."

"Deal." I was fully firm I would keep that deal. Obito would stay Obito. He would not be caught under that rock slide, he would not become Tobi, he would not meet Nagato and Konan, he would not kill Minato and Kushina. He would stay Obito, and he would always be my best friend. He would help me train my genin, he would tease Naruto and Sasuke, both would be so much happier and healthier, with their families alive.

Obito was going to stay alive, no matter what. Even if the future meant that instead of Kakashi training team seven, it was Obito.

-0-

Being trained solely by Minato was odd. Hikaru was transferred to a different sensei, who went on better missions, more gritty real ones, as he had been promoted. I got reprimanded for disobeying the mission orders. I didn't really are, while Obito was very angry over it, ranting about it, and making comments on how I was a much better ninja then Hikaru, and how I deserved to be promoted.

I tuned him out often, busy getting use to walking, and then training again. I was amused by the shocked look on Hikaru's face when he realized that I was still Minato's student, now his official apprentice, while he was shoved aside like garbage. He was definitely regretting not following me before, so he could remain under the tutelage of Minato.

Time went past rather rapidly. I did missions when I was cleared to, though I never went on a C-Rank. They didn't trust me anymore, not to be exactly like my dad.

I guess my sullen attitude from before the mission made them think I wasn't like him. That I would pick the mission above a human life. I'm glad I showed them, though I do admit, I was a little jealous that I was still stuck in Konoha.

I loved my village, but I got bored, and bored quick. Ten months after I was cleared, and I was still in the village, doing stupid training exercises. Only one good thing came of it: I met Jiraiya.

I was doing pushups under the gaze of Minato when a sudden pressure on my back made me land hard on my stomach, knocking the breath out of me in a loud huff.

"Sensei!" Minato called out. "Leave my genin alone. He's still training." I flinched at this, feeling a deep set ache in my stomach. 'He'. I struggled to breath through the physical pain, and the emotional ache. I was never going to forget that I was a girl in a male's body. Never.

"And yet he can't handle my weight." Jiraiya said, getting off my back, letting me be able to breath a little more clearly.

"He's seven sensei, not many grown men can handle your load."

"Are you calling me fat?" I huffed, trying to get my breath back as Minato and him bickered. I rolled over to my back, breathy deeply, before I pushed myself up.

"Who are you?" I demanded, though I knew already who he was. Jiraiya scowled at me, before in a puff of smoke, he appeared ontop of a toad.

"I am the incredible Jiraiya of the Sannin!" I stared at him, unable to really get him. I knew he was a crazy man from the anime, but I had heard about him in school, and he was always held up on a pedestal, put above the lesser ninja in an awe inspiring way. People spoke of him in hushed breaths, shining eyes and dreaming sighs if they were attracted to him. I had a bit of an ideal set up for him, though I shouldn't have now that I think about it. I had thought he may be a little more mature when Kakashi was younger, because he hadn't lost his pseudo son or his godson to forces he couldn't control. But it seems I was quite wrong about that.

"Holy shit, you are a freaking showboat." was the first thing out of my mouth. There was silence, before Minato burst into laughter.

"...Your genin is just as much of a brat as you were."

-0-

Jiraiya actually grew to like me, I think. Not sure, he seemed a little miffed I'd called him a showboat. He taught me a lot though, things Minato had a hard time explaining, including how to make your own jutsu. I lapped it up, though truthfully, I wasn't sure what I would do with the knowledge. Kakashi did have the chidori in the story, but I had no idea how to create it.

How did he make it work? I knew he used Minato's jutsu as one of his building blocks, and the sharingan also was useful for it, but no one talks about his ideas for it, nor do they talk about how he actually did it.

I had no idea how he began the process, nor how he forced the chakra needed to bend to his whim. lightning was a tricky element, and hard to control under he best of circumstances. Honestly, I was surprsed he was still alive after creating it, after hearing a few horror stories from Jiraiya about people losing an arm or a leg while creating the jutsu. And the chidori was one of the best assassination moves in the canon story line...I wasn't sure if I could ever replicate it... though I knew I was going to try my hardest to do so anyway.

And if I couldn't, I could make another awesome jutsu to pass on to my genin.

As the time passed, Obito and I got closer as well. We still trained together, but we also messed around and played games more often then we did before. Obito put it as loosing the 'stick up my ass' which brought us closer. I just shrugged, and moved on. I was happy when we would sit around playing games together. Bullshit was a favorite, though we called it Cheat when Sakumo was around.

"Three Aces."

"CHEAT!" I pointed at Obito with a grin, making him scowl as he swept up the cards. We were playing in a random park, Minato having given me the day off, and Obito skipping class. It was quite, the two of us just playing card games... or chasing each other, yelling 'CHEATER' at the top of our lungs, trying to kill one another.

And I mean with weapons and everything. I got a pretty good cut on Obito's arm, and he blacked my eye. But we were still all smiles and laughs. I really enjoyed myself with him, it was like I could just be the girl I knew I was around him. I never felt like I had to hide, at all.

"Your way to good at this game." he complained. I rolled my eyes as I tossed down two two cards. I was actually cheating, by positioning a mirror behind Obito.

Hey, I was a ninja. If he didn't see it, not my problem.

"Your hair's gotten longer." Obito remarked. I grinned, my eyes crinkling over my mask, as I tugged on my ponytail. It reached mid back, something I was incredibly happy about.

"I know. My dad is teaching me a jutsu to coat my hair in lightning chakra to make it impossible to grab." It was common enough in clans to have long hair, the Hatake's one such clan, but I found it incredibly stupid to wear it loose. It got into your face, obscured your vision, and could be used to choke yourself by accident. It just wasn't worth it, having your hair down and loose. Give me my ponytail anyday.

"Wouldn't it be easier to just cut it?" Obito asked, tossing down some threes. I threw down a five, pretending it was a four.

"Yeah, but I like it long." I said, as he threw down... a six, and a five... _nah, I'll let that go for now. _

"But, you look like a girl." I froze, my hands dealing my card.

"And?" I tossed a card down blindly, not even caring what it was.

"Well, your a boy, so you shouldn't-" I slammed my cards down. I felt my heart speeding up, thinking about everything in this ife that didn't match.

My neck was thicker then a normal girls

My shoulders were broader, even as a kid I wasn't like other girls.

My weight was distributed in different spots.

I moved different, less swaying, more stomping.

I...I... had a penis instead of a vagina.

My best friend called me a boy, when I wasn't.

He thought of me as a boy.

I wasn't.

_ I wasn't..._ I became hyper aware of myself then, as I felt my entire body just hurt. Obito had never, ever said I was a boy. Sure he said he, but I ignored it, deluding myself into thinking he saw me as the girl I was.

I felt my entire body, _my wrong, wrong, wrong body, _shake, as I felt each and every bit of skin, and length, including the extra.

_The thing I don't need. I don't need it, don't, don't, don't..._

_I don't need it because I'm a girl. Girl, girl, girl, not a boy. Not a boy..._

"I'M NOT A BOY!" I screamed into his face. "I'M A GIRL!" It was the first time I said it out loud. In my old life, everyone knew I was a girl so I never had to say it. "I'm a girl..." I repeated more softly. I ran off then, unable to face the shocked look on Obito's face as I tore through the village, heading home.

I tore open the door, ignoring my father who was doing some paperwork at the kitchen table. I ran right to my bedroom, closing the door behind me with a slam. I dropped down, leaning against my bed frame, sobbing.

I was a girl, but I didn't look like one. I was a girl. I...I...

"Kashi-chan?" a voice called, the door opening. I looked up to see Sakumo in the door way. "What happened?"

"I-I...I..." I buried my face into my knees, sobbing. Sakumo came in, and dropped down beside me, hugging me. "I'm a girl." I said, not even caring anymore. "I'm a girl."

"I know sweetie, I know." Sakumo said into my hair. "I know, and I love you."

It just made me cry harder, as I hugged him back, sobbing into his neck as he rocked me back and forth, back and forth.

"How did you know?" I asked Sakumo later, as we ate take out, still snuggling together, though we were now on the couch. I was curled into his side, with one of his arms over my shoulders, as he ate around me, and I slurped up my ramen.

Ramen was very good comfort food.

"When you were about two I was pulled aside by one of the nurses after a checkup. She said your mental chakra was partly wrapped around your abdomen, and only your mental chakra. She explained to me it was a sign of being a transgender woman."

"Why never tell me you knew? I was so... angry for so long. It would have been... nice to know you didn't care." I asked. Sakumo squeezed me gently.

"I wanted you to come to me before I said anything, because it might not mean anything. Apparently, a lot of kids who had mothers die in childbirth have their chakra wrapped around their abdomen. Something about... the feeling being comforting or something." It was silent for a long time, before he spoke again. "So... do you want to go and buy some girl clothes?"

"Kami, yes." I said, hugging him tightly again.

-0-

Obito came by the day after I came out to him. He brought a deck of crds, and we played poker and Bullshit for hours. I cut him on the forehead, and he got me good in the side with a kick. We both laughed our asses off.

Nothing changed between us then he knew the truth. He accepted it, and me, completely. He didn't care I was a girl, he didn't care about my sex. All he saw was me, the childish and happy Kakashi.

If that didn't show how strong our friendship was, I don't know what does.

* * *

Alright, I am going to rant: I AM FUCKING TIRED OF PEOPLE SENDING IN ANONYMOUS REVIEWS AND BAD MOUTHING ME! It's bullshit. And by the way, saying that it's funny how I claim Kakashi is so smart, but I have a lot of grammar mistakes, is very immature, and rude oh, and basically you can't back up your 'knowledge' because if your anonymous, no one can read your stories to see if your any good at grammar. Thanks, do you feel so big now huh?! Oh, and do you really think saying that if I delete your review, I'm delete the only honest review there, is basically being a big headed idiot who needs a reality check. You didn't give me any advice, whatsoever. Do you just like to hurt people? Hmm? Do you like to make people feel bad. Well, guess what: I have autism, I'm overweight and I can't write properly because I never learned in a way I should have from a young age. I get called stupid, retarded and all those nice words all the time.

You can't say anything, that I haven't heard before.

Also, a FAQ I often get: Why did I choose Kakashi instead of an OC?

Kakashi is a main character to the series. He's directly involved in pretty much every single mission, every step of the way. He's the one who made Team Seven, team Seven.

I chose him because he's close to the action. And I can change things easier there.

I also chose him because he's someone girls fangirl about the most. Itachi was my other choice, but I went with Kakashi for the reasons above. We all know Kakashi, and this is me just portraying him in a different way.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I always had it planned Sakumo knew that she was transgender because of her chakra. And that she tells Obito first.

Please review!


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